Letting Go!

   Letting go is hard, sometimes it can be harder or easier depending on what you are letting go of. I sit here in the quiet tonight and think there are many things I have let go of in my life and there are many things I would like to let go of like some behaviors and attitudes. Some of those are not as easy as letting go of an old baby item of throwing away or an unused toy etc. The reason of this blog tonight is my feelings towards letting go of my kids. Yes, I am over protective, as any mom in my situation should be, there is always the fear of the unknown and things that could happen if I am not there. I have had to work very hard towards letting go a little when it came for instance sending Austin to school for the first time. That was a nerve racking day for me, even though I knew I was only a phone call away. One day when he was in school I knew I was going to be gone out of the area all day and I was a nervous wreck. What if something happens, what if he falls, what if he cuts himself? How anxiety producing, overprotective or controlling? Maybe a little bit of both. Tomorrow he will be beginning a full week at Hawk Mountain for Cub Scout day camp, he will leave early morning and not return till close to dinner time. I am NOT going, he has been up there one day before, but not for as long without me and I know from experience he will be doing a lot of things that might be new for him and could cause injury.
    What is an overprotective, controlling mother to do? Well first pray, real hard for Austin's safety and enjoyment. We have been pretty good about not bubble wrapping him since his diagnosis. Second, have trust in the person who will be looking after him this week and I do. I put my complete faith in him and I know he will look out for Austin. Third, just think positive that all will be fine, even though I know I will be thinking of him constantly until he lands back home safe and sound. Once I get him through this week, I really will be going crazy because I know he will be attending Dragonfly Forest  next week where he will spend 6 days and 5 nights away from home, his first time ever away from home to this capacity. I know Dragonfly will be all kids with bleeding disorders that week and I know they are fully staffed medically with dr's and nurses, but I will NOT be there. I know at the end of the day, I am so happy my children get to have these experiences and I am so glad sometimes to see them just go away for the day or week, but I am still that overprotective, controlling mother and I still have a hard time letting go.