The Firecracker

      My Firecracker, my little girl SaraAn. Loud,full of excitement and surprise. As I watched her be rolled into surgery today and the nurse told me she would be OK, many thoughts came to my mind. I knew she would do great, just a simple procedure, but she was still being put under and having a tube placed into her throat, and she would have to monitored afterwards. Any parent, I would think would be a little anxious, maybe a little teary eyed as I was this morning.  She woke up easily, some pain as expected, and was ready to take on the world right away without looking back. That is my girl, she came out that way, and I thank God she is this way, even though her stubborness drives me crazy sometime. Without that fight in her, she would not be alive today.
       Tomorrow, my girl will be 6, how can that be? I remember so clearly her infancy when I would sit and nurse her and just sit in awe of the fact that she was alive and doing so well with her head full of dark hair and her blue eyes. SaraAn was not a planned child, Austin was going to be it for us, but I guess God had other plans. Shawn was convinced well before I was that I was pregnant. No way, I would say, we have a baby and it just did not seem possible. Well, Shawn went to walmart one day, picked up a test and told me to take it because he knew it would be positive. I remember him laughing over the KFC we had for dinner that night when I came out crying because he was right. His mom did not believe it right away, but was thrilled when the shock wore off. How were we going to raise another baby? Henry was at the height of his diagnosis and Austin was beginning to get sick on a regular basis and I was working full time. Wow!!
       Well, off to the Dr., who I owe Henry's life to and she helped with Austin's delivery also. She was a little concerned of course since I had two csections one just less than a year ago. This ended up being my best of three pregnancies, thank goodness for small miracles. Not realizing all my strength would need to focus on her first weeks of life. July 8th. was the day set for my csection, a couple of weeks early so I did not have any rupture of the uterus going into full labor due to Austin csection just 13 months before. Was assured she was developed and ready for the world. Good delivery then as she was being taken to nursery, Shawn noticed something was not right about her color, he was right. She was then rushed into NICU where she was touch and go for a couple weeks. That was a horrible time, thank God for my friend who came in from Pa at the time to stay with me and help with the boys and take me back and forth to the hospital. I had to see her everyday. I would pump every three hours just so I knew she was getting a part of me, I watched my milk be poured into tubes into her nose for her nourishment. I could not even hold her for almost a week. Thankfully, she rallied after being hooked up to tubes everywhere and she came home attached to nothing. After that I left my job and decided along witht he dr' she should not be in childcare for a while.
     Well, you think that was scare enough, she defied the odds again at 2 1/2. She was now in daycare where I worked, she began getting bouts of pnemonia regularly, with meds and nebulizers she would come out of it and be OK for short periods of time then get it again. Feb 2008, she was taken to the dr and put on antibiotics, steroids, and nebs again. This time she did not get better. Shawn was home with ther one day after being on the meds for two days in hopes she would be better. She was not getting better, she was tinged blue to the lips and now was lethargic, and was struggling for air. Rushed right to dr without calling, her pulse ox which should be over 95, was only 79. She could not breathe, panic set in, right to hospital and put on a breathing mask with a bag on it. Knowing what that is, I was scared. She was really sick, double pnemonia and severe RSV, a respiratry virus that could kill little ones. After six days in hospital she came home, now with many dr's visits to figure out what was going on. Asthma was decided. Medication after medicaton. Hopefully, she could outgrow this.
    Now, SaraAn is on 5 or more meds a day to control asthma, reflux (another story), and some constipation problems from the meds. What a life for just six short years. It does amaze me how I guess she was meant to be here. She has had to fight a heck of a battle to make it this far. Thankfully, with God on ours and her side, the battles will keep being won. She is the strongest girl I have ever met and even though she drives me crazy with all that fight, I have to remember without it, she would of never made her first day. I hope and pray she uses that God given fight ability to good use one day and that she will never let her guard down. Hopefully, as she grows some of these ailments will lessen or go away, but in the meantime she lives life to the fullest and she loves it.  The firecracker, all that energy, excitement,and amazement of all the colors. Happy 6th Birthday, baby girl.