Thursday, February 24, 2011

Oh Henry, my Henry

      As Henry is watching the NASA channel waiting for Discovery to launch, I quickly think that most kids his age right now are playing video games, playing at friends houses, or just hanging out, but here is my 9 and a half year old listening to every word and watching every detail of this exciting event. Space and NASA is his obsession right now. Over the years his obsessions have changed depending on what in his mind sticks out. When I say obsession I mean obsession, from details about the subject most adults would not know to just reading about it ,to channeling every bit of energy into finding out more about the obsessive topic. As you might have figured out by now, Henry has aspergers.
     Our first child, many dreams, hopes, everything planned for the blessed event. What a roller coaster ride of a pregnancy with him from conception to the last second in the womb. Still, a roller coaster rides everyday. Carrying him was such a feat within itself, many hospital trips (dehydration), many days of illness,major surgery at 34 weeks to remove the bad gallbladder (scarred for life), 40 staples later, 2 drain tubes in stomach, and uncertainty of everything, from due date to even his life. Due date hit, induction, then excitment. The moment finally arrived. All this quickly turned to fear when heart rate dropped and now emergency csection and complete knock out due to blood pressure so high. I wake up later to find out the bad news, cord wrapped around neck and under arms so tight it was cutting off his oxygen. Miracle he was alive, now in NICU and future uncertain. Happy Birthday Henry, Aug. 11,2001.
      Home after three days, great news, uncertainty about his future scares us a lot. First year without a hitch, EVERY milestone hit on time. PHEW!!!! Within 2nd year, SMACK!! Right in the face. By three years old, PT,OT, speech and behavior therapy revolving door in our home. Henry did not fit the "perfect" mold. Such depression, we would be hours trying to settle a smart little one who could not speak, hold him tight with every temper tantrum so he did not bang his head on the wall or floor, learn sign language so we could help him find his "voice". Special education, IEP's, one on one aides, Wow, so overwhelming especially for a first born now entering school right after his third birthday. The ups and down over the years have been plenty, from potty problems to finding the right activities, to decreasing all the help, mainstreaming in school to just every decision that has been made for the better of this wonderful life.
    This week brought a lot of  the past as Henry had a full blown meltdown at school where he tried injuring himself and his anger could not be controlled. Horror strories told to me regularly about kids like him going through this next stage of his life, beginning stages of puberty? Kind of scary. As we have had our share of problems with Henry over the years, I feel a little discouraged thinking the worse might still be coming down the road as he is in regular education more, peer pressures, lack of friendships, and his overall awarkness about things. Will kids be cruel to him, of course that  is expected. Daily strength needing another boost to properly help him handle all things to come.
    Less then a minute to TAKEOFF!!! His excitement rises, his throat noises( Tourettes tic for him) increases due to excitement. 3-2-1 we have Liftoff, feels like life in all its ups and down everyday. As we prepare ourselves to get Henry through the next phase of childhood I have a feeling our knees will be buning regularly as we continue to pray possibly for a cure for all the kids in the beginning stages of autism to just the everyday dealings with our Henry.

1 comment:

  1. You will be surprised how quickly all this passes. A child on the spectrum seems to progress so slowly and then one day you wake up and they are seniors in high school and pretty self sufficient and you are wondering where that non-verbal, tantrum plagued child went! I have grown to treasure the obsessions, and they change over time as well. Emily used to live for the presidents...she knows each one, which number they are, who their wives were, who their vice president was and a number of little known fun facts about each. We used to amaze guests by throwing a number at her and she would come back at us with the president and all the facts associated with him. Today's obsessions are teenage pop stars, Farmville and her Girls Guide to Surviving High School.....I highly recommend these "Survival" books...she studies them and takes her social cues heavily from the series. Good luck, Jennifer. Treasure these days. They go quickly. There is a greater sense of innocence in our children, after all, than typical children that really needs to be treasured, nurtured and appreciated. Parents of "typical" children will never know what they are missing....ao forgive them their ignorance!

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